Parker had
a rough night last night. He was
vomiting most of the night, at first the Costco hotdogs we had procured on our
shopping trip to the UK revisited us and then when he had nothing left his
little body was dry heaving. While it sounds a bit dramatic, we think it is
just a bout with the stomach flu “gastro” which his sister Axelle had earlier
the same day. By the end of the day he was running about with his sisters and asking for more hotdogs.
Otherwise,
clinically he seems to be doing great.
The second implant is a bit more than a year old now and he is doing really well with it. Still not clear if it
adds a lot to his understanding or comprehension but it is reassuring for us
that his entire hearing world is not dependent on a single device. His first implant also got an upgrade so both
of them look alike. We can’t tell which
is which until we place them activated on his head and he either says “it’s
good” or “switch”.
He is a
chatty little boy, not always making much sense but always verbalizing
something. When he plays with his toys they
are always verbally animated with appropriate battle sounds or crashing
sounds. When his hearing is off and he
is technically 100% deaf he continues to be verbal just louder. Renee has taken to enhancing his vocabulary of
positive affirmations so he also throws out an enthusiastic “You’re the best”
or “Awesome” or “This is amazing” when someone does something nice for
him. He gets confused sometimes with
similar sounding words as the other day Renee asked him to get his vest and he
quizzically replied “You’re the best?” He also has taken to calling everything "super" but has a slight Boston accent which comes out as "Supa".
His cognitive
level still is unclear although it is clear that he misses a lot. He is behind his age group (significantly so when compared to his twin sister). His
school situation is a bit complicated after the Rainbow School closed their
special needs program leaving us with few alternatives. His dedicated teachers, Jill and Michelle,
were looking to set up their own structure and we somewhat committed to
following them without knowing what was going to happen. They haven’t got a physical school set up so
in the interim Michelle works with him from our house for four hours a day four
days a week. At first we were a bit
concerned but so far it has been very good and not driving back and forth to La
Garenne Colombes twice a day has been an added bonus.
I don’t
really see any evidence of seizures or absences and the medication has been
toned down a bit which I think has helped him be more alert. It still makes him drowsy but less so than
before. He is still a champion medicine
taker and rarely complains.
Today is
the last day of a two week school break and we have enjoyed the downtime and
not venturing far from home. As we
prepare mentally for the winter months in Paris which, if all goes to plan,
will culminate in the arrival of a new baby, we are trying to focus on
preparing ourselves and our kids for the this next phase of our family. It has been more than eight years since we
did this and while many things will be different, a lot has changed for us as
well. When the twins were born, our
eldest, Abby was four months short of her 7th birthday. This time all 5 children will be over 8 years
old and we will have two very capable built-in teenage babysitters.
Two
questions that people always seem to ask are “do you know what you’re having?”
and “what gender to you want it to be?” To the first question the answer is and
always has been "no" and the second has always been “whatever God gives us”.
This time
the answer to the second question is different for me. I want a girl.
While I try
and convince myself that girls are easier or that we are better at girls, etc. the real reason is that I am terrified of having a boy who is… not Parker.
I am scared of having a boy who is not
super excited about everything that there is in life. A boy who is impossible to go on a walk with
because he stops every ten steps to twirl around a post or crouch down into a
runner’s position on a dirty Parisian sidewalk claiming “I’m the Flash”
before sprinting ahead until he feels
that he needs to crouch down again 50 feet later. Imagining a boy who doesn’t ask 100 times a
day “where’s dad” or who doesn’t rush to the front door yelling “you’re home”
every time I come in. A boy who doesn’t want to go with absolutely everywhere
and or doesn’t rush to put on his shoes, often on the wrong feet and sometimes
neglecting to put on pants so that he can accompany me while pleading “can I go
with us?” A boy who doesn’t burst with excitement at the prospect of going to
Disneyland and asks repeatedly “where are we going” greeting each response with
a gasp of unabridged joy. One who doesn’t break out into spontaneous dance
moves including frequent somersaults on concrete every time he hears live music.
I am
equally saddened by the thought of having a boy who is not isolated by a disability.
A boy who gets invited to birthday parties and over for play dates. A boy who listens
and understands everything I say. A boy
who goes to a school with classmates, homework and structured objectives. A boy
where I project my own plans and expectations on for a well-structured future
filled with service, school, marriage and career. A boy where I am not content to accept every
day as a blessing and every progress made as a miracle.
I hope that
I will be able to adapt to whatever happens, but while Parker may not be a
perfect boy, he is the perfect boy for me.
