These photos were taken days before Parker got sick. They always make me sad when I come across them. I mean abysmically so.
His pre-meningitis-potential-and-future-and look in his eye cut to my soul.
Professeur C called my cell phone today to ask about Parker's vaccination status when he got meningitis, because they are doing a study for the new Prevenar vaccine. Apparently there have been a few more local cases this winter of poor babies also vaccinated, also contracting meningitis, and becoming deaf from the same, wicked bacteria.
Can I hate now?
I hate pneumococcal meningitis. What it did to my baby, and what it did to the other babies in Paris who have contracted it THIS Paris Winter.
I love you, Parker! I'm so sorry this happened to you. The pain, remorse, sorrow, and guilt that I feel that I did not protect you from this will forever wrack the deep, dark valleys of my soul.
Luckily these valleys are filling in with happier times, and more hope and progression...day by day, I see your smile and zeal for life. They keep me fighting.
We can do this. We can communicate in 4 languages. We can do hard stuff.
