Parker had a good Sunday. I find it hard to believe that it is already Sunday again. The past 7 days seem like a blur but at the same time it seems like it has been an eternity.
His vital signs remain stable and they are weaning him off some of his sedatives to let him wake up a bit more. This morning our nurse Gaelle noted that the saturation of oxygen in his blood was close to 100% and she went to turn down the oxygen on the respirator but it was already as low as it could go. They told us that if he was not scheduled for surgery they would likely have taken him off the respirator and taken his tube out.
It is refreshing that the doctors and nurses are just feeding us information as we go along in the ICU unit as opposed to calling us back to the "bad news room". Dr Dupic (the chief today) was examining Parker today and said that our little boy has come a long way this week and that we were now in the second phase and that the risk of death was largely behind us. He indicated that there were still several dangers that lie ahead of us but my heart lept upon hearing the news -- it was almost like hearing the re-birth of our son.
Re-birth is a lot like the first birth; we are thrilled by each little yawn or cough, the tiny finger grasps, the eyes blinking. I admit that it has been several years since I have been overjoyed with a stinky diaper.
We are worrying about the risk of secondary infections and he had a fever today which they are treating with antibiotics.
We are also learning a bit about the concept of suffering to be stronger. While we are so happy that he is progressing, we see the physical struggle he goes through to get better and our heart aches to have to stand back and watch him move through this physical part of his fight on his own. Today when he was going through a particularly violent coughing fit I could only hold his hand and wait for it to pass-- it seemed like it lasted several minutes. When the nurses came in to help afterwards-- I had to somewhat compose myself in the corner. Obviously parents hate to see their kids suffer-- even if they know that this is part of the healing/growing experience.
We had another example of emotional suffering where the healing potential is not immediately clear and will no doubt take longer to realize. When I darted off to the house last night leaving Renee with PJ-- I could see that they were preparing the room diagonal to us for a new patient. While I was gone, a 2 year-old boy arrived. While the staff try to keep privacy of the different patients, from Renee's seat at the side of Parker's bed she had a view through the window of the opposite room. As she sat there holding Parker's hand she watched as they unsuccessfully tried to resuscitate this little boy. After walking near the shadow of death for the better part of a week and trying to convince ourselves that we could survive this, one mother witnessing another mother convulse with grief and despair at the loss of her baby boy put our suffering in perspective.
Yesterday afternoon our dear friend Melissa Bradford came by the hospital to say goodbye on her way to the airport to fly back to Munich. As soon as they heard about our Parker, she and her husband Randall decided that Melissa would come to Paris to help in any way possible. She arrived on Wednesday when things were pretty bleak for us and has worked with Rach, Leslie and Sarah on the home front to take care of our girls. 20 months ago the Bradfords 18 year-old son Parker (there is no coincidence in our two sons names) drowned while saving a friend in Southern Idaho. Here was this wonderful couple who has suffered deeply (and no doubt continue to suffer) at the loss of their beautiful boy and yet without hesitation or selfishness rush to help in a situation which they know all too intimately well.
We thank them for their friendship, compassion and sustaining love and example.
Why God is letting us go through this, I don't yet know. Why we have made it to round two and others have not, I don't know. What I do know integrally is that there are many miracles that we have seen through this and I am awe struck with each of them.
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