I just got off the phone with a secretary for a pediatric neuropsychologist in Los Angeles. I am trying to get Parker in to see her while we are in LA this summer going to the deaf camp for 3 weeks.
But I am reading the definitions of the testing I have just requested on my child --(thank you, Wikipedia)--KABC scale, Vineland scale, NEPSY….and don't know why I am at all surprised. They are testing his cognitive levels, requested by his french neurologist, but obviously testing for mental retardation and delay.
I just keep thinking he is still trying to catch up from being in that coma for 9 days...
But he's not. I mean, he is…but it is, in fact, more than that. Isn't it?
Dear God.
Is it?
Are you still there?
I know that you are.
I know that you are requiring me to be humble because I have not been. I am paying the price. I am sorry. Will I ever learn? Maybe not.
But I trust in you. And you take me by the hand and lead me to very scary places.
It's confusing for me. I thought you would take me only to warm, safe places. But this does not seem warm, or safe, or protected.
I've been scared before. But this is bone chilling. This is hard, cold, stuff.
Who scripted this?
Not me. That is for sure. And I guess no one else suffering their hard stuff scripted theirs either.
I have trusted You with my life, with his life, and you have guided me. I am just scared where you will guide me next. Still I take your hand cuz I have no choice. It's hard today. I'm just sayin.....
